Nothing I'd Like Better >> Than to Fall

Twice now, I have gone to do something that not that long ago, I could never imagine (willingly) doing.

Rock climbing.

Well, more specifically, bouldering. What is bouldering you might ask? It's like rock climbing, except not as high (maybe 20 feet) off the ground, and you don't use ropes or anything. Instead, there is a big cushy mat on the ground below you in case you fall.

I have been afraid of heights for as long as I can remember. Even looking over the side of a building from the third story will cause my stomach to leap into my throat. I'm not sure why I agreed to go to the bouldering gym the first time, but I know why I will be going back. I'l go back because I am terrible at it. And amazing at it. Both at the same time.

I am terrible at it in that I can barely do the beginner level routes. My hands hurt only minutes after arriving, the skin blistering from gripping, and my arms feel like they are going to fall off. Sometimes Often the fear catches up to me, and I literally cannot go up anymore -or worse- back down.

That's where I'm amazing at it. Because not going up or down is not an option. It just isn't. There is only one way off the wall, and it's by conquering your fears. You either push yourself to let go for the next hold below you and trust in yourself, or you push yourself to reach higher and grab for the one above you. Worst case scenario, you fall onto the mat, which is scarier than both of the other options. But even in doing that, you learn that everything is okay. You'll land, pick yourself up, and try again.

Both times that I have gone, I have surprised myself at what I can do when the choices are very, very simple. When it gets tough, I close my eyes, take a deep inhale, and go up...or down. Either way I learn  a lot.

Do you ever put yourself into scary (but safe) situations so that you can push yourself? I highly recommend it!

shanti >> sondra


1 comment:

  1. Girl, you've got a hot back on you!! This post is awesome. I'm glad to see you're pushing yourself beyond your usual boundaries. I've never climbed or bouldered. I'm scared too... although Jasper has a brand new climbing wall at the gym. Maybe I should give it a go!